The Chore List

Monday, March 30^th, 7:17am. 

My daughter Sarah, like most of us, struggles. Her struggles reach depths many others don’t understand, and as part of her recovery and treatment her therapist asked her to write a Joy List. She sent it to me via email a while ago and I’ve found myself reading and rereading it recently. It’s honest, and funny, and uses language I use but don’t use here. It also reminds me that some simple behaviors and activities that we’re each ultimately responsible for practicing can bring joy and satisfaction to a simple day, or a seemingly week without an end. 

We’ve both been struggling to write; she tells me she is completely distracted and I’m wondering what might be relevant or significant while processing all that it Covid-19. In an effort to move forward and in support of Sarah’s ongoing recovery and her continuing to write, I decided to write out a current Joy List and to share it here. These are all things that happen while being at home. Sometimes you’ve just got to hit submit. 

• Coffee, now most mornings with almond or oat milk. 
• Wine, and wine delivery. Careful here…
• Writing, three pages. For the last two weeks I’ve been understandably distracted yet even before that maybe I was lazy, or undisciplined. This is a perfect time to begin again. 
• The Peloton. Spinning hard has helped me lose sixteen pounds over the last year, clipping in regularly. 
• Ironing. When my kids were little I used to iron constantly in a screened in porch, all of their outfits while they played outside. Now I’m ironing pillowcases and sheets, and sometimes even dishtowels.
• Weeding. It’s still too early to really weed, so instead for now I’ve basically re-landscaped my entire backyard by pruning back hard and cutting out deadwood. Weeding will come. 
• Eating In. I’m a good cook, and if a meal is disappointing I have only myself to blame. 
• Vacuuming. I absolutely love seeing that clear Dyson container fill up with dust and dirt. 
• Short red nails. Five of us, my girls and I, were totally spoiled by what we called ‘the free club’ aka The Buffalo Club where we would consistently book salon services while never seeing or paying the bill. Absolutely spoiled. Now I’m an orange red do-it-yourself polish on fingers and toes, and they need to be short. 
• 10,000 steps, in or out of the house. Definitely a feel-good daily accomplishment. 
• Staying home. A homebody at heart, I can now become expert. 

Sarah and I have this inter-related relationship where we send each other things to read and even though we both know it yet don’t say it out loud too often we are very much alike. After she proofread the above content, she asked me if what I was writing was a ‘chore list’ and I guess I have to agree, the only thing I’m really at ease doing now seems to be chores. My anxiety thermometer runs high. She suggested I include things like Rice Krispy treats, something I binge ate years ago.  

If you look closely you can see how we really talk to each other, and if I can’t expose myself now there’s really no hope.

11:19am

Nothing like a humanitarian, societal, financial, and global pandemic with Central Park being turned into a makeshift hospital to now give zero fucks about saying fuck. 

God bless all doctors, nurses, emergency response teams, journalists, grocery stores, liquor stores, pharmacies anyone and anything in this horrific scenario. 

Every day dress, because every day dress is all about getting up and doing it all over again.