thoughts on Mother’s Day

I’ve been having anxious thoughts about this coming Sunday, and how to rightly celebrate. For years I’ve been planning one meal or another to mark the day, and these past few weeks have made me feel a little like opting out. That’s a sad thought, so I took myself for a long long walk outdoors […]

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day 10, a clean palate

grey velvet and white, and yeah those lamps at the doorway need some shades

In an effort to minimize, so far to go with that concept, for new house down south furnished in a flash I stuck with a color palate of white, grey, and dark brown, or one of my favorite words chocolate. Mostly white and grey, and we moved fast.

every day dress office Saint Petersburg FL, office chair from Office Depot Office Max

At Rooms to Go we picked up two white leather pieces, a sofa and a loveseat. The rest of the haul came from Restoration Hardware, and not embarrassed to say Restoration Hardware Outlet. Husband likes to move fast, no time to wait for special orders.

husband thinks lampshades are way too big, mail order, whatever

First night in the new house we slept on a mattress on the floor, and second daughter Booie slept on a yoga mat on the floor. In a land of plenty it was fun in a weird strange way. Booie and I also spent a night with no power, and that was fun too. Candlelight and early to bed.

new art on the white walls and table for six that can go to eight
I’m furnishing the place in a few simple colors…
my new closet and there’s that pop of orange in an orange suede shirt with all other things black and tones of white
picked out all this stuff in a hot minute, speed dial with local delivery guys, love the pop of orange

Kind of like building a wardrobe based on a cohesive color story, furnishing this place with limited choice made it so much easier to make decisions. Of course, you always need to mix things up or throw in a curve ball, hence the Hermes orange cushions for outdoor seating area. Really like that little pop in what is otherwise Zen-like and serene.

keeping it clean in the new kitchen. pre-ordered bar stools at Perigold
do I kind of match the kitchen? haha

Today’s work outfit was tone on tone too. Black cashmere V-neck, black leather skirt, soft white scarf, taupe suede boots, keeping it all in the same family made it so much easier to get out the door.

Every day dress, clothes: neutrals, interiors: mostly grey and white, food: Prosecco in the office and take-out for dinner.

Day 10, check.

wedding resources

For brides, grooms, and enquiring minds, here’s who helped us pull off with what I must say was last summer’s most epic lawn fete:

The Dress | Amsale

The Dress
the shoes, gifted by her sister
we always have our shoemaker put red rubber soles over the original
he will only do it after a couple of wears, not box fresh

Oh, The Dress. Okay, so the blog here is called every day dress, so you know even though we wander we’re kind of all about the dress. Caroline has been looking at wedding dresses for as long as I can remember, even before the man entered the room. I think the dress was the very first thing that was decided on, and after that it was all systems go go. Caroline, working and living in NYC, set up 7 or so bridal appointments, Sarah and I flew in for one wonderful weekend. She spread the fun out over three days, on day one she kind of had two picked out, on day two at Amsale she and we knew, she had her dress. She put that gown on and tears came, champagne was poured, it was that good. Of course it was a little over budget, she would figure it out. Day three of appointments we politely thanked and cancelled. Oh, that dress. I’ll never forget her in that dress. She absolutely beamed walking down the aisle and the entire, glorious day. After all was said and done the next night she put the dress on with bare feet, hair up, and celebrated again under the brunch tent during an impromptu all-hands on deck pasta dinner. It really doesn’t get any better than that, the bride doing dress repeat.

The Caterer | Giancarlo’s

poolside cocktails
seafood tower
one of the bars
seated dinner love

My family knows that after coffee the first thing I think about in the morning is what’s for breakfast, after that it’s what’s for lunch, and after that it’s obviously what’s for dinner. As the family cook and entertainment provider, my vote for food, drink, and service was heavily weighted. We considered two options, yet even before going into the process my mind was on Giancarlo’s. They’ve been in our city house and office serving up parties for years now, they always deliver. The family card helps too, Ethan played basketball with Anthony all while growing up, Maxwell and Anthony graduated from high school together, Gabriella is always delightful and professional, their staff is young, good looking, and energetic. We were planning a party where every last thing needed to be brought in to a sloping country grass field, huge responsibility, yet I just knew they would provide the experience we were looking for. And they did; a seamless, sophisticated cocktail hour, an elegant, unpretentious seated dinner for 212 guests, fun, spicy stuff for a boozy after party. This didn’t come without a cost, honestly when the quote first came in I was thinking of cooking that chicken dinner. Husband even offered me $15k (that’s a lot of new shoes) to take it on. Bride and groom weren’t biting, Giancarlo’s it was. They were superlative.

The Band | The Digs

Caroline’s best friends mom has her hand in wedding planning, she was the hero in referring The Digs, thank you Marilynn. They were extraordinary. Caroline and Sean were adamant about having a great band, we all know that can make or break a good party. Bride, groom, and siblings listened to play tapes, watched videos, and it was their decision to book this Toronto, Ontario phenomenon. Coming from Canada we needed to provide hotel accommodations, a green room, and two kinds of dinner, vegan is a thing with musicians. Again, over budget, absolutely worth every dollar spent. Dance floor was jammed from first song to last.

The Invitation | Smythson

The wedding invitation was emotional. In house we have two family graphic designers, bride’s brother Maxwell created the Save the Date, and bride’s aunt Tracy creates one-of-a-kind stationery suites for her clients under the umbrella of her west coast design company Radeff Design Studios. Given those two love affairs you just can’t pick. Here I was the heavy and sent Caroline on her lunch hour to Smythson on Madison Ave. She worked with the consultant in person and I worked remotely. We were a little under the wire, our decision came kind of late in the game and then all correspondence and proofs had to be vetted through London. Again, over budget, thank you Bill and Collins & Collins. (what’s a budget?). Invitation was delivered, I hand addressed and stamped, carried those big boxes to local post office and politely asked that they all be hand-canceled, thank you USPS.

Tenting, Rentals, and Lighting | McCarthy Tents & Events

tent and lighting
bride and groom hit the dance floor

Got a little crazy here, in the end we had 4 tents and the main party tent location was moved less than a week before the big day. Tent locations were initially measured under 3 feet of snow. Aunt Tracy was the super hero here, honestly she, along with McCarthy, made this happen. She tracked weather patterns, looked at sunrise and sunset, walked the property considering absolutely all logistics, and at the eleventh hour helped stake all tents.

McCarthy covered tents, tent lighting, tables, bars, bistros, chairs, dance floor, generators, maybe more, can’t remember if they did grills and/or hotboxes for caterer. They also had rain plan, heaters and air conditioners all on reserve if needed, they were not, grateful. Totally recommend.

Production Manager | Tracy Radeff McConnell | Radeff Design Studios

Tracy, the master mind

Tracy, founder and CEO of Radeff Design Studios, provided overall professional and logistical advisement. In essence, she brought all vendors together on the same page. She was timeline and detail oriented down to the minute. Bravo.

Photographer | Sarah Bridgeman

Her work, and spirit, simply outstanding. She and her team captured the day, and all you see here. Caroline emailed her letter of introduction, Sarah accepted, and the memories through photographs live on. Another referral from Marilynn, thank you.

Bridesmaid Dresses | Amanda Uprichard Bridal

all in white
even after party attire was white on white

Caroline and Sarah sourced bridesmaid dresses another NYC weekend. Finally, something great looking and on budget. Must say they all looked gorgeous and happy. Loved the shades of white.

Hair and Makeup | Groomservice Beauty & Dry Bar

Again, Caroline and Sarah on point, with advisement from Lexi. They know hair and makeup and booked Buffalo’s best. Glamour squad arrived city-side Saturday morning at about 7:15 am and helped us all get wedding day ready. Bride, wedding party, MOB (mother of bride), MOG (other of groom) and both maternal grandmothers. Special thanks to Kristen Baker. That in itself was a party. 🙂

Cake | Dessert Deli

simple wedding cake

Caroline and Sean during one of their Buffalo visits tasted cake. Sean, being the consummate sweet tooth, had first choice. Cake looked beautiful, I heard it was delicious. To this day I still think about that missed opportunity, and where that wedding cake went the day after.

Table Top Rentals | Petunia Rose

Caroline Linnehan

This was a god-send referral from stylist colleague Cary Kimber in Rochester, New York. Who knew there was a vintage and luxury table top rental provider an hour and fifteen minutes away that has done work at The Whitney Museum and The Met Ball? Woah, we were in good company. Caroline and I did early spring road trip and met with owner Eileen Wright. In less time than it took for us to get there we chose china, stemware, flatware, and details. Sure, we could have gone default stock white, yet Eileen’s belief shares ours, ‘that welcoming friends and sharing happy moments with them around a table that has been imagined and decorated for their sole pleasure exemplifies the art of entertaining’.

Sound | Indigo Productions

Behind the scenes but deal breaker if it goes wrong, it didn’t.

Linens | La Tavola

Coordinated by my sister and bride’s aunt, this fine linen rental company based in Napa, California helped provide beautiful, luxury linens.

Flowers | Maureen’s Buffalo Wholesale Flower Market

elegant bridal bouquet

The vision board was clear: white, and shades of white. Hydrangea and Roses. Caroline sent me for initial consult, Caroline, Tracy, and I signed off on final consult. Flowers were what we wanted, pretty, fresh, beautiful, and not over-done. We were in the country after all and surrounded by greenery.

Church | Saint Louis Roman Catholic Church

My words can’t describe the beauty or history, please enjoy Sarah’s photo capture and visit St. Louis RC Church, here.

Father Joe embraces father of the bride

Pastor | Rev. Joseph S. Rogiano

Dear family friends Sam and Michelle helped facilitate the sincere, engaging, charismatic Father Joe, thank you, wholeheartedly.

Transportation | Buffalo Limousine

Never saw them, husband and I drove ourselves, yet understand their service was great transporting guests to and from Buffalo to Eden. Heard the drivers were friendly, as well.

Glamping Tents | Contentment Camping

to the lower right in both photos you can see a glimpse of the glamping area in lower field
Andrew, Caroline’s friend from grade school, of Contentment Camping, with his fiance Meredith on far right

Caroline’s grade school friend Andrew gifted her and Sean seventeen tents for friends to party on into the wee hours and the next day. Party on they did, indeed. Andrew and his mom Pat provide ‘glamping’ or ‘camping without roughing it’ events all over the country. Check them out here, Contentment Camping.

Restrooms | United Rentals

Never saw these, I guess that’s the idea, and they got rave reviews.

Lunch and Brunch | Carte Blanche

lunch in the barn
the bride eating a burger
after lunch at the barn

Church was at noon, reception at five. To feed the crew called in Carte Blanche and they delivered a wedding lunch of burgers and fries. Next day they brought corned beef hash, potatoes, Bloody Mary’s and more.

Planners | Marilynn Militello and Angelica McNally

Thank you and thank you. xoxo

2018 family photo

to be continued…

really bad dinner

always candles, always flowers

Snowed in and thinking about food, and clothes, obviously. We’re in spring trunk show mode and traffic is light, especially when everything is closed for three days and counting. Kind of love snow days, time is at a standstill.

Thinking too about the blog, and what I need to do to inspire myself. Yesterday got myself up, dressed, made the bed, packed up some ice for the drink bin and grabbed fresh flowers off the kitchen counter, headed downtown for client meetings, and with the snow falling the cancellations rolled in. Headed home, and all I could do was double denim, blue jeans and a blue shirt, and contemplate what could be had for lunch.

Sautéing the cabbage which I sliced to make like wide egg noodles, did not work
steaming the ‘farm raised’ yet ‘organic’ salmon, I totally know better
forgot to grab fresh dill, so parsley in a pinch
the only thing we ate was the salad, yet there was plenty of wine
Friday night lights

Last Friday night, in an effort to be new year healthy, picked up four salmon fillets and a head of green cabbage on the way home from the studio, having had worked with new spring clothes all day. Salmon and cabbage? Kind of spring like; and even though the cooking, technique, plating, and presentation were on point, it was a really bad dinner. The thing is it’s just not spring yet, and not even close to being spring like. So, while I might be dressing myself and my women in new spring clothes for the season ahead, the food correlation is just simply a no-go. It was a dinner for three, and not one of us could get through it. Instead, we tucked into the wine. Started with white, because you know white with fish, ha-ha. Took a look out the window, snow blustering all around, and poured some red. Ate some of the cabbage and simply pushed the farm raised pink stuff around the plate. I should and do definitely know better: do not buy farm raised fish, but I did. So, no dinner and over served on the wine. Went to bed hungry and spinning. It was for sure a really bad dinner.

what we should have had, two nights in a row

Having made meatballs and sauce the day before served that up for lunch the next afternoon. That was the dinner we were looking for on a cold snowy night, live and learn. When you get it right it should go on repeat? We can do meatballs and sauce two nights in a row, especially and particularly in January.

vegetable stock mise en place, usually use Spanish onions, red was what I had
mise en place for hearty Minestrone, no canned tomatoes on hand, only crushed, soup was excellent
soup, sandwich, white, could have grilled the bread and cheese a little longer, I was anxious

Still trying to do healthy, yet wanting warmth, and comfort. Simmered up a double batch of vegetable stock, some for a hearty minestrone soup, and some for the freezer. A bowl of soup, combined with a grilled cheese sandwich, butter is still love, be still my January heart. See you later bland, pink fish.

As for spring clothes, we put in our order: a tailored single-breasted glen plaid blazer, for denim in all configurations, dark, distressed, white. Added the matching glen plaid trouser, not for a pant suit look but maybe, simply for having a nice trouser in the wardrobe. Try as I do denim can’t take you everywhere and felt a grown-up trouser for spring 19 was a must have. Also did a white blazer dress in a beautiful crepe with princess seaming, a bit of an asymmetric hem, to be worn as a dress, and as a coat. A black ballet inspired tee, semi-fitted, extended cap shoulder, because again, try as I do sometimes a tank is simply feeling a little too exposed. Added a beautiful navy unlined crewneck cardigan, with six silver buttons, a little fringe detail, tonal stitching, and long, cuffed sleeves, it’s stunning. For underneath a white pique blouse with silk chiffon trim, very classic and luxurious, hidden button front and long sleeves with deep cuffs and two rows of buttons. Of course, there is denim, a new pair of white, always need to refresh those to look best, a cool textured jacquard pair done in a black and navy texture, and a color block one with a cool fringed hem. Yeah, three pair of jeans yet that’s what we wear. To top it all off added a little iridescent jacket in a jet black and navy Moiré cotton, with silk habotai hem and cuffs. All great pieces can’t wait to get them, hopefully UPS is snow-proof. 

color version is on the Instagram, great Sarah Flint boots

As for the blog, they say write what you know, so food and clothes. Not for all, I know. If you like what we’ve got, thanks for hanging around. My in-house photographer grew up and went to college so the clothing shots have been lacking, only so far I can push the husband, and selfies feel a little weird. Speaking of selfies, here’s one in the studio, while snow swirls all around. A few DM’s about the taupe suede boots: they are Sarah Flint, a direct to consumer brand. Sarah makes great footwear using some of the same production sites as Hermes, Louboutin, and Blahnik, and counts the likes of Meghan Markle, Lady Gaga, Jane Fonda and Cindy Crawford as fans. I’m trying a little six month ambassador thing with them, and in return they’ve given me a code for clients and friends, RCOLLINS50, to use at checkout for $50 off your first pair. I do like her shoes and boots, have three pair now.

That’s all for now, I’ve broken the ice and re-fed the blog. Off to take an afternoon bath, time stands still on snow days, and then back to work on wardrobing women in new spring things. Really bad dinner, see you later. xoxo

some needed self-care

Given the choice between a week down in Florida for a little rest and relaxation with family or a week alone at home working my new line, chose the work.

Not really sure if it was the home alone or the work that was calling me, simply knew I needed some down time, and self-care.

Twenty-six year old daughter wrote a college paper about the benefits of living alone, and her belief that all humans should experience living alone at least once in their lifetime. I’ve never had that, went from living with my mom to living with my man.

When our oldest son was applying to college, I traveled alone with him to Wake Forest for accepted students day. He stayed in a dorm, I was in a hotel. I remember barely leaving that room, I craved sleep, and solitude. Couldn’t even gather myself to go for dinner, bought Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups from the vending machine, ate them in bed with wrappers strewn, and called it a night.

This next memory is bazaar: when he was a baby and we had twins 18 months behind him and I was very pregnant with my now twenty-six year old I was in the kitchen trying to feed them all and had this urge and desire to go to the hospital so I could give birth, have a room of my own, and be served 3 meals a day on a tray.

This beautiful twenty-six year old woman has struggled, suffered deeply, has been vulnerable, emotional. During the month of November, she was in the ER twice by ambulance in one horrific day, and when safely home I was serving her 3 meals a day on a tray. Mental health issues, so complex, and scary threatening. Husband and I assembled a recovery team, and she recently posted to her Instagram thanking her tribe for helping her to get back on her feet again, with the caption mental health matters. 

Mental health matters. Three words, and you can go from black to white in a heartbeat, while longing for grey, that in between time when it might not be good but certainly not bad.

home alone, and bitter cold out there

This struggle wasn’t new, or shocking, simply this time heart-wrenching. Sarah in college had husband checked into a Boston hotel room for weeks at a time, working remotely, to get her out of a locked bathroom door and into a classroom. Her older soul sister was married this August and she stood by her throughout and stood strong; three days after she basically flat-lined. Oh, we look good, we dress well, we photograph well, and we work. We work at it all. Getting out of bed, making the bed, getting dressed for the day, you name it, sometimes not easy, and some days it might just not even happen.

November had us on tag-team, no alone time for Booie, none whatsoever. December brought in family, and tons of dynamics. I could just feel her trying to opt-out. We held it together, just barely. Early January sent them all home, and she finally, slowly, painstakingly, stabilized.

Mid-January husband likes to go south, as she’s not working, or driving, she went with. I chose not, wanted some down time, some quiet, a little self-care. They had father daughter time, without me there she cooked, regained some confidence. I cooked too, alone; stock, and soup.

slept 6 hours 52 minutes and clocked 17,278 steps, thank you Motive

this was today, 6:30 am at the gym, wearing the Motive ring

In those eight days I met a friend out once and learned a new line by trying on 188 pieces of clothing in all different sizes on a Saturday afternoon. Manicure, pedicure, haircut, and facial, no one to answer to, no place to be. Cleaned out the laundry room, the cleaning closet, polished silver. Changed the beds, and washed and ironed the sheets. Clocked 17,000 plus steps in one day without ever leaving home. Sometimes drank wine alone with my lunch, sometimes went to bed by 8 pm.

Mom always told me that to care for others we need to care for ourselves. My daughter, my life. Any of my kids, my life, my breath.

I write here, I think, for women. As women we love, we give, and at times, run on empty. My sister in northern CA knew I was home alone, and she said, ‘you’re not even blogging’. No, no blogging, we were running on low, and needed some self-care.

Booie, love you forever. You are beautiful, and one in a zillion. Love your honesty, love your struggle, and love your soul. You teach me what’s precious: you, and your life, and of those around you. Keep the faith, please. xoxo

the long run

Never a huge jewelry person, I wear a few special pieces round the clock and only on occasion change it up. Dear husband has gifted practically the entire lot to mark time and special occasions. Only once did I buy precious earrings, and that was when I thought I lost one of the diamond studs I wore daily for twenty plus years. Didn’t have the heart to confess the missing stone, so bought a small pair of hoops to fill the holes for several months, and then found the missing earring under a chair in the bedroom while vacuuming. Passed that small pair of diamond hoops onto fourth daughter when she started her first semester of college this past fall.

While raising a half dozen babies changing earrings for the day never really crossed my mind, and who really had the time or the energy. Factor in taking something small off of value and the risk of losing or misplacing it simply hugely escalated, it was a very busy time.

Engagement ring, wedding band, watch, simple earrings, and a stunning diamond ring husband gifted me when he turned fifty are my tattoos of choice – they are the daily forever look. While in NYC for thirtieth wedding anniversary, that’s a big one, purposely walked arm in arm into Cartier on Fifth Avenue to peruse the goods. We were celebrating love, so the Love Bracelet was my desire. Dear husband likes to fulfill desire, so a white gold Love Bracelet with four small diamonds marked our three decades of marriage.

In turn, we gifted our oldest daughter the yellow gold version for Christmas last year. She was newly engaged, and we wanted to commemorate this special time in her life with something lasting, and that she could wear on her wedding day. I knew the classic look would complement any dress she chose, and we wanted to bless her pledge to love and marriage, and inspire her in going for the long run.

This piece of jewelry, designed in 1969, has a locking mechanism and requires the small included screwdriver to wear and remove the bracelet. The playful permanence of wearing this speaks to my heart, and of our commitment to love and family.

The long run is not easy, like our tenets of every day dress; making the bed, protein at breakfast, putting on good clothes and maybe some makeup, walking or exercise or anything that moves your body, work that feels meaningful, making some dinner, and most importantly spending time with those you love, it requires consistent effort and attention. In our world it’s this daily effort and attention that yields the far biggest reward, a rich life of family togetherness.

Like that bracelet, our family feels secure, sure there is struggle and tears and vulnerability and change, yet the circle continues with goodness, and joy.

And now, I digress: personally, I am fully and deeply committed to husband and family and passionate about feeding those I love. Professionally, and also personally as there is for sure crossover, I help dress many beautiful women. For eighteen years, since the birth of our youngest daughter, I’ve been aligned with Worth New York, and it’s been a good, long run. Not married to the company, and after much thought and reflection, I’ve chosen in this new year to venture out try something new; a new challenge, a new line, a new look, a new company.

Yesterday, my colleague and I met in our studio and outlined our launch. These first strides are unsteady, and a little uncertain. Carlisle, thank you for the opportunity. We’re digging in, and giving it a solid good go. Let’s see how we do.

Every day dress, the long run.

all photos: Sarah Bridgeman

trimmed and tied, always ongoing

black sweater, blue denim, suede flat, lots of green

Still getting settled after Thanksgiving week and now entering holiday mode, oh, boy. We’ve done this before, yet there’s always those moments of uncertainty when you think you just can’t get there. One year when staging and decorating for husband’s office Christmas party with major event designer sister from CA, she said, ‘you can never be done’, and I still think of that. Any party or event or dinner or holiday or even wedding planning could just keep going and going. Now I tell myself to give it a really good strong effort and then at some point just let it be enough.

We’ve got trees, some decorated, some not. Some with skirts, and some without. Twenty year old daughter hung some of the ornaments while home from break and I wasn’t even in the room with her. We chatted, room to room, her hanging, me cooking, and I just let her be. Years past or even recent years I might have micro-managed, this tree decorating I can totally let go.

Card writing is giving me anxiety, and we’ve even got a great photo or two this year. The actual card is on order, and that’s two steps ahead of where we usually are in this production process. We’ve looked at stamps, no decision yet. Details details.

easiest dinner ever is to have your butcher trim and tie a whole tenderloin, pop it in a super hot oven for 22 minutes or so, let rest, and carve

We had a full house, and I cooked and baked my head off. Tenderloin, ham, turkey. Potatoes, beans, pasta. Cinnamon rolls, pies, cakes. Bacon bacon and bacon. Wine wine and more wine. Can you tell where this is going?

probably spent 16+ hours or so in an apron

new French food processor, needs to go back, Pulse button not working!

This most wonderful time of the year is by any stretch not easy. Trimmed and tied, perhaps, yet always ongoing….

big chunk of blue and chopped tarragon

birthday wedge and bolognese for fourteen, kind of standard. this was after Thanksgiving and there wasn’t a clean white linen left in the house, so, mismatched it was

bought two $40 bouquets at grocery and had oldest daughter cut them down into 11 small arrangements in canning jars, a look she totally dismissed for wedding vibe, hahaha (and agree) 

Merry merry, hustle hustle.

always happy and forever in blue jeans baby

Every day dress, xoxo.